CB Statement of Intent

This site does not exist to say, "Look! I have an eating disorder! Aren't I cool? Don't you want to be like me?" Eating disorders are a living hell, and anyone who has suffered from one will tell you the same. I am not going to "teach" anyone how to be anorexic or bulimic. Eating disorders are not a cult; you cannot teach someone how not to eat.

What I intend to do, and what I hope to do, is provide a place from which everbody - eating disordered or not - can benefit.

I hope that those who currently have eating disorders can find love and support here. No one here is going to force you into recovery, though it is my sincere wish that everyone can one day be free from their eating disorders. CB is meant to be a place of understanding and acceptance. From the beginning, this website has provided a unique, safe place where people with eating disorders could connect. Often the outside world does not understand, seeing our problem as selfishness, vanity, or a diet taken too far. "Why don't you go eat a fucking sandwich?" they say. I hope that this place will be a sanctuary for you, a haven from a sometimes callous world.

This website has been a lifeline for me, personally, and I hope that is and will continue to be the same for others. Without a place like this, I would have had no one to talk to. Depression and eating disorders often go hand in hand; 20% of those with an eating disorder will eventually die from it, and half of those will take their own lives. Perhaps if people have a place to go and speak freely, without judgement, they will not feel so desperate or alone. Perhaps they will see that they are loved and wanted and needed and understood.

I hope that those testing or swimming in the imposing waters of recovery will find an honest view of it, a gentle nudging towards it, and maybe motivation when the waters are rough. I have been and often find myself in that dark place where I just don't want to live anymore, where I want to give in to my eating disorder and let it take me away from this world that holds so much agony. It is a terrible place to be, and when I am there, I can't imagine things ever being better. My hope is that, when you are in that place, you will be able to see some small glimmer of hope here.

I know that no amount of pushing and shoving will put someone on the road to recovery, and may sometimes effect a fight or flight response and move them away from recovery. I want to meet you where you are, wherever that is in the eating disorder or in the journey away from it.

Many people come here who do not have eating disorders and are looking to understand, either for their own knowledge or to help a loved one who is suffering. I hope that this place can be a valuable resource for you, showing both the seductive comfort of the eating disorder and its deadly destructive counterpart. An eating disorder is a lot like a coin - two opposing sides sharing the same space. I hope the depiction here is honest and gives you a deeper view into the dark, often frightening world of an eating disorder as well as the struggles in overcoming it.

If you have come here in hopes of developing an eating disorder, you really need to leave right now. They are not cool or glamorous. They are not a quick fix. They are not a diet. They are a living, breathing hell. But once you're in, you're in. You're in until it kills you, or destroys your life so much that you have to break free, or until your friends and family grow so concerned you are forced into treatment. So please, I beg you, don't let this monster into your life.